


Too young for this

by jamie_jameston



Category: Carmen Sandiego (Cartoon 2019)
Genre: Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, firearms
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:13:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23816713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jamie_jameston/pseuds/jamie_jameston
Summary: In which Player gets hunted by both ACME and V.I.L.E at the same time, and starts to think maybe he's a bit too young for the whole white-collar crime business.
Comments: 14
Kudos: 106





	1. Another nightmare

Player was sitting on the edge of his seat, listening intently to what was happening on Carmen’s end. The cameras in the area had been taken out, presumably by ACME, so he was running off of what he could hear, which wasn’t a lot. All he did know was that Jules, the ACME agent, had tricked Carmen into an ambush, and Carmen seemed to be escaping, but Player couldn’t figure out where. Until he heard Carmen speaking again.  
“Don’t come a step closer, or I’ll jump.” Carmen’s voice sounded even, and Player smiled. He knew where this was going. Carmen must have gotten trapped on the roof, and now she’s bluffing to get information before jumping off and flying away. Pretty smart, even for Red.  
He could hear the agent trying to coax her away from the ledge, seemingly believing that she would actually jump without some sort of safety line to catch her.  
He turned his attention to Zack and Ivy, just in time to hear a distressed call from Zack.  
“Player, someone’s kidnapped Ivy! Some people, they must have thought she’s Carm!”  
Player felt his chest tighten up. He always hated when people targeted Zach or Ivy. Carmen, he knew, could take care of himself, but they hadn’t had the training she had.  
“Okay Zack, I’m triangulating Ivy’s position now. Stay calm.”  
He could hear Zack taking deep breaths over the phone.  
“Okay, she’s heading outside of Stockholm city limits, I’ll send coordinates your way.”  
He could hear Zack’s car start up and watched his tracker on the digital map Player had up as it followed Ivy’s.  
He leaned back in his chair, unable to shake off the feeling that there was something wrong about the situation.  
He decided to tune in to the conversation Carmen was having with the ACME agent. She seemed to be getting information about a plot ACME had to… kill someone? That didn’t sound right. He tried to listen more intently, but the agent must have been talking very quietly, he couldn’t hear anything.  
“Player, how’s Carmen doing?” Zack interrupted his concentration.  
“Uh, she’s doing good. Extracting information now, then she’s going to fly off the roof and meet you and Ivy at the rendezvous point.”  
“Player, as awesome as Carm is, she can’t actually fly.”  
“Sure she can, she’s got her hang glider.”  
Zack went silent for a second. “Player, she left her hang glider in the car. It’s here, right next to me.”  
Player asked himself, quietly, “How is that possible? It's attached to her jacket.” He leant forward again and asked Zack “Are you sure?”  
“Yep. I’m looking at it right now.” was Zack’s concerned reply.  
“Then what’s your plan, Red?” Player said to himself, switching over to Carmen’s line.  
He came in just in time to hear Carmen saying “Goodbye, Jules.”  
He realised she was talking to the ACME agent. “Red wait! You don’t have your hang glider!”  
“I know.” was her reply, and he almost didn’t recognise her voice for a second. It sounded sadder than he’d ever heard it.  
“What? Red, what are you doing?”  
“Tell Zack and Ivy I said sorry.” was the only response.  
“Red? No, don’t do this!” Player shouted, feeling a pit in his stomach.  
“Goodbye, Player.” was her response.  
“What? Carmen, no!”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Player sat up in bed, gasping for air. He glanced over to his clock, which read 04:26. He sighed and slumped back down onto his bed, trying to push the thoughts of his dream out of his head.  
He picked up his phone, figuring that he wasn’t going back to sleep anytime soon, when he saw a message from an internet friend. He did some quick maths and figured he’d still be up.

hackervoice: u up?  
flying_kiwi: Yeah. You good?  
hackervoice: had another nightmare  
flying_kiwi: Oof, again? That’s like three this week. You gonna be okay?  
hackervoice: yea. can u talk for a while?  
flying_kiwi: Sure thing dude. What about?  
hackervoice: not sure. just need a distraction  
flying_kiwi: I got you man. You feeling ready for thursday?  
hackervoice: not really. ill be good though  
flying_kiwi: I believe in you bro. You'll do great.  
hackervoice: thx. ive been working hard for weeks, id better not muck up  
flying_kiwi: You won't. You're way better than you give yourslef credit for. Why do you think commander called you player?  
hackervoice: yourslef  
flying_kiwi: Shut up pleb.  
hackervoice: yourslef  
flying_kiwi: I said shut up.  
hackervoice: yourslef  
flying_kiwi: Shut up or I’m logging off.  
hackervoice: okay sorry  
flying_kiwi: Thank you.  
hackervoice: yourslef  
**flying_kiwi has left the chat**


	2. A new message from an old friend

Player waited until around seven before getting up and making himself a cup of coffee and breakfast.  
“Morning, Peter!” came the overly cheery greeting from his mother.  
He grunted in response and started to pour himself a cup of coffee, ignoring the raised eyebrow that it earned from his mother in response.  
“Are you sure you should be drinking that?”  
He looked in her direction, avoiding eye contact. “I didn’t get much sleep last night.”  
“Again? Peter, honey, what’s wrong?”  
“Nothing’s wrong. I just can’t sleep.”  
His mother sighed. “Have you been on those computers too late? You know those things can mess up your circadian rhythm.”  
“No, I’m not.” He decided not to mention that he’d been up until 1 am the night before, helping Carmen with a caper.  
“Okay, well, no coffee. If you’re having trouble sleeping, it’ll only make it worse. You’re going to bed earlier tonight and-” she set her own coffee mug down on the bench and turned to face him. “-I’m turning off the wifi an hour before bed, so I know you aren’t doing anything on your computer.”   
“What? Mum, I told you, I’m not on my computer.”  
“Then it won’t matter to you if I turn the wifi off, will it?”  
“I guess not.” He went to pour himself a cup of coffee before his mum grabbed the kettle from him, shaking her head.  
“I meant what I said, Peter. No coffee. It’ll only keep you up.”  
“That’s kind of the point, Mum, I don’t want to fall asleep at school.”  
His mum raised an eyebrow at him. “You’re developing a dependency on it. You can have tea, there’s caffeine in that.”  
“Barely.”  
“What was that?”  
“Nothing. I’ll make a tea.”  
“Dang right you will,” his mum smirked, handing him back the kettle, grabbing the plunger and pouring the coffee grounds back into the container. Player made himself a cup of tea and poured it into a travel mug before grabbing his school bag and starting to head out.  
“Uh, hey, what about breakfast?” his mum called after him.  
“I’ll be fine! See you!’ he called back, hurrying out the door.

He was halfway to school when he realised he’d also forgotten his lunch. He figured he could wait until he got home, he’d be fine - but just as he walked in, he got a call on his phone.  
“Hey Player, how’s things?”  
Player breathed a sigh of relief. After the dream he’d had that night, he was glad to hear her voice.  
“Not too bad, Red. Yourself?” He asked this casually, trying to hide the tension in his voice.  
“Can’t really complain, with a beach view.”  
Player laughed. “I take it you’re enjoying Hawaii?”  
“Not as much as Zack and Ivy, but yeah.”  
He didn’t notice it at the time, but all of the tension Player had in him was slowly melting away during this conversation, with the knowledge that Carmen was okay. Lately the wellbeing of Team Red and their capers had been all he cared about.  
“So, how long until you can find us a new caper?”  
“I’m working on it, but there seem to be some extra safeguards on this drive. It’s taking a little longer. Just enjoy your little holiday until the asbestos is taken out of your HQ.”  
“Copy that, Player. I’m pretty sure we can manage without a caper for a while.”  
He laughed and hung up, walking into school.

Player was in the middle of maths class when he found a coded message on the dark web that he knew was for him. It had a white hat and a username he never thought he’d see again.  
Commander: p1@y3r, we need to meet.  
Player nearly fell out of his chair in shock, and let out a surprised squawk that got the attention of the whole class.  
“Sorry,” he muttered when he saw his teacher’s raised eyebrow.  
He opened a private chat, noticing that it was completely empty.

p1@y3r: who r u???  
Commander: a friend. We need to meet.  
p1@y3r: how did u get that username? its not in use anymore  
Commander: I know. Now I’m using it.  
p1@y3r: so what do u want  
Commander: I already told you. We need to meet and talk.  
p1@y3r: havent u heard ur not supposed 2 meet w strangers online?  
Commander: But we aren’t strangers. You know who I am.  
p1@y3r: u cant b. Ur dead  
Commander: Dead? Whatever makes you think that?  
p1@y3r: i remember u dying  
Commander: I assure you, I am not dead.  
p1@y3r: then who r u? U arent commander.

Player discreetly grabbed his phone and decided to message his friend, noticing it would be around 2 am but hoping for the best.

hackervoice: u still up?  
flying_kiwi: Ofc. Why?  
hackervoice: [sent photo]  
flying_kiwi: Wth? Is that him?  
hackervoice: same username & code, but cant b him  
flying_kiwi: Why tf would someone pretend to be him? I know this is the dark web, but that’s effed up.  
hackervoice: ikr. idk what 2 say  
flying_kiwi: One sec. Imma message him.  
hackervoice: k

Player turned his attention back to his screen, musing over what to do. He noticed his teacher looking in his direction so he quickly switched tabs and pretended to be doing schoolwork until her attention moved to another student, then he switched back to the chat.

Commander: You know who I am, Player. Please stop playing this game and let us talk like adults.

Ordinarily he would have had a little chuckle at that, people online often thought he was an adult, especially on the deep web. But he was too preoccupied.

p1@y3r: humor me. who r u?  
Commander: You really haven’t figured it out? I would have thought that you of all people would have put the pieces together. After all, you easily hacked a high-security agency.  
p1@y3r: stop playing these games. tell me who u r or ill log off.  
Commander: I must say, I expected the team red tech expert to have better grammar than you’ve shown.  
p1@y3r: team red?   
Commander: Please just meet with me. You’re in Ontario, correct?  
p1@y3r: how did u know that?  
Commander: I didn’t. Thank you for confirming it for me.

Player groaned inwardly. His mind was running so fast he couldn’t focus properly on the conversation. He tried to think what team red might mean, but he couldn’t think of anything. His lacrosse team’s colour was blue, and he couldn’t think of any other teams he’s in.

p1@y3r: ok then. say i did agree 2 meet u, where/when would it b?  
Commander: Anywhere you like. A private residence, yours even, a hotel, a public area, whatever would make you most comfortable.  
p1@y3r: and how many ppl would i b meeting?  
Commander: Just me. Although I may have some associates waiting nearby.

Player could feel himself start to panic. He had heard stories of kids straying onto the dark web and getting kidnapped and trafficked but he always thought that he was too smart and secure to get caught like that. Yet somehow this person had found an emotional weak link in him and tugged on it until he was actually considering meeting up with this person. Just to be sure.

p1@y3r: what kind of associates?  
Commander: Nothing to be concerned about. Just a security measure on my part.  
p1@y3r: why would u need a security measure? am i a danger 2 u?

He felt a buzz in his pocket so he discreetly pulled his phone out of his pocket and checked it.

flying_kiwi: I sent them a message. It’s not him.  
hackervoice: i figured. so who is it?  
flying_kiwi: Not a clue. I’ll tell them to leave you alone.  
hackervoice: u think theyll listen?  
flying_kiwi: Worth a shot, right?  
hackervoice: i guess  
flying_kiwi: HOLY SH*T DUDE THEY KNEW I’M FROM NZ HOW???  
flying_kiwi: Oh wait  
flying_kiwi: Nvm.  
hackervoice: rlly?  
flying_kiwi: Shut up.

Player smiled to himself and turned his attention from his phone back to his computer.

Commander: I don’t know yet, that’s why I would need backup.  
p1@y3r: …  
Commander: I’ll give you 12 hours to give a response. I hope this doesn’t have to turn ugly.  
 **Commander has left the chat**


	3. Chapter 3

When the bell rang, Player grabbed all his stuff and went to the music room to have his lunch. He pulled out his phone and called Carmen, well aware it would be 7am where she was.

“Hey Player, what’s up?”  
Player tried to think of a way to word his concerns when Carmen kept going.  
“Zack, Ivy and I have been up all night talking, and Zack suggested we should get team red badges, like a club. I know it’s kinda immature, but it sounds fun.”  
“It’s not immature, you’re too mature.” Player could hear Zack yelling in the background.  
“So anyway, what do you think about it?”  
“Sounds fun. Wait, what did you call us?”  
“What? Oh, team red? It was Ivy’s idea, since red is like my signature colour.”  
Player dropped his phone in surprise.  
“Player? You okay?”  
He scrambled to pick it up again, his shaking hands making it difficult.  
“Player?”  
“Yeah, I’m here.” He said, putting his phone on the music holder so that Carmen wouldn’t notice his hands were shaking.  
“You look like you’ve seen a ghost, what’s wrong?”  
“Carmen, don’t freak out, but I think you might be bugged.”  
“One sec.” Carmen said, then Carmen heard her call out to Ivy and Zack, a door close and some taps turn on. “Okay, you’re on speaker. What makes you think that we’re bugged?”  
Player told her about the messages, and how they’d known about the nickname ‘team red’.  
“Do you have any idea who they are?” Zack asked.  
“Nope, not a clue.” was the response Player gave.  
“They had a username, right?” Iy asked. “What was it?”  
“Commander.”  
This time Carmen was the one to drop the phone. “That’s got to be ACME, right?”  
“What? Oh, right, the chief’s cat.” Player realised, a slight smile forming on his lips despite the situation.  
“But why does ACME want to meet with you?” Zack asked.  
“Because I’m a weak link?”  
“How are you a weak link?”  
“I’m 16, I live in a different country than our base, I live with my parents, I’m still in school, I-”  
“Okay, yeah, I get it now.”  
“Not to mention that without Player we can’t access any ACME files.” Carmen added  
“Or any VILE files.” Ivy pointed out.  
“So what do we do?” Player asked.  
“Well first, we need to get out of this hotel room. Second, we need to get to Ontario. Player, can you get us there?”  
“I can, but I think it might be safest for you to stay there for now.”  
“But ACME knows we’re here! How would that be safe?” Zack exclaimed  
“They don’t know that we know, though. Besides, if they found me then they’ve tracked my computer. So if I book you guys tickets here they’ll see.” Player explained.  
“Good point. We’ll stay here for now. And you probably shouldn’t leave your house.”  
“But I have to go to school, I can’t miss it. My mum will kill me.”  
“And if you do, ACME might kill you.”  
“I don’t think they will. The chief seemed to want to talk to me, so why would they kill me?”  
“She could have been lying.”  
“I have to go to school.”  
“Alright. In that case, we’re coming to you. Get us tickets back to base, we’ll drive from there.”  
“But then ACME will know you’re based in San Diego.” Player pointed out.  
“They already know, I think. I’ve seen people dressed like their agents around.”  
“Alright. I’ll get you on the next flight back.”  
“Okay, cool. Keep me posted if anything happens, anything at all.”  
“Will do.”  
Carmen hung up without another word, clearly in professional mode. Player hated professional mode.

Player checked his phone as he left school, noticing a message from his friend.

flying_kiwi: Any updates abt Commander?  
hackervoice: yea. i know who it is  
flying_kiwi: Who is it????  
hackervoice: nvm. someone from a project im working on  
flying_kiwi: How did they get his exact account?  
hackervoice: long story  
flying_kiwi: So what did they want?  
hackervoice: not important.  
flying_kiwi: Are you really not going to tell me?  
hackervoice: yea, im not.  
flying_kiwi: Whatever. So, feeling nervous for thursday?  
hackervoice: gonna b honest, i 4got all abt that.  
flying_kiwi: How? Dude, it’s in like 3 days.  
hackervoice: don’t remind me.   
flying_kiwi: I’m sure you’ll nail it.  
hackervoice: i hope so.   
flying_kiwi: I know so. So who's commander?   
hackervoice: still not telling  
flying_kiwi: I'm gonna find out, dude. You're just delaying the inevitable.   
hackervoice: in ur dreams   
flying_kiwi: Oh, it's on.   
**flying_kiwi has left the chat**

The next day, Player was awoken at 2am by a phone call.  
“Player, why am I not seeing any plane tickets in my email?” Carmen’s accusing tone came over the phone.  
“Good morning to you, too, Carmen.”  
“Player, I’m being serious. We need to get to San Diego.”  
Player sighed, purposefully dragging it out a bit longer than nessecary.  
“I can’t get you the tickets. There are no planes leaving Hawaii.”  
“Then find a private plane elsewhere to come and pick us up.”  
“No Carmen, I mean there are no planes. Coming or leaving. There’s a tropical storm coming in that’s grounding all the planes.”  
“So get us a plane and Zack can fly it.”  
“No can do Red, it’s too dangerous. Can Zack even fly a plane?”  
“Sure he can. He flew a helicopter.”  
“Carmen. Listen to me. You can’t fly out for a couple of days, it’s too dangerous. You guys could die.”  
“But if we don’t, you could die.”  
“I’ll be fine. ACME is a government agency, they won’t do anything. Just be careful and you can fly back on Thursday.”  
“Is there really no way for us to get back?”  
“Not unless you’re willing to swim from Hawaii to Alaska then walk here.”  
She sighed frustratedly. “Fine. But you’re not to leave the house unless it’s school or an emergency until Thursday.”  
Player rolled his eyes “Yes Ma’am.” he said sarcastically.  
“And less of the sass.” Carmen added.  
“Who are you, my mother?”  
“As good as, sometimes.” was the response.  
“See you thursday.” he said, hanging up.  
He tried to wait for a few hours before getting up, but got restless, so decided to get up and go to lacrosse practice early. He figured that since it’s at school, he technically wasn’t breaking Carmen’s rules.

He got to school around 4am and once he’d connected to the wifi, he saw that he had a new message.

flying_kiwi: What’s ACME?  
hackervoice: what?  
flying_kiwi: Commander. They’re from ACME. What, do they make sh*tty bombs or something?  
hackervoice: i dont know wat ur talking about  
flying_kiwi: I am capable of tracing an ip once I have an in, dude. And don’t try and pretend you didn’t get the roadrunner reference.  
hackervoice: no, i got the reference, it just wasnt very good  
flying_kiwi: Shut up yes it was  
hackervoice: no it wasnt  
flying_kiwi: Yes it was  
hackervoice: wasnt  
flying_kiwi: What’s ACME  
hackervoice: not telling  
flying_kiwi: Fine. But I will find out.  
hackervoice: no u wont  
flying_kiwi: Yeah I will  
hackervoice: theyre a government agency good luck  
flying_kiwi: You say that like government agencies are hard to hack.  
hackervoice: true.  
flying_kiwi: Why are you at school at 4am in the morning?  
hackervoice: lacrosse  
flying_kiwi: I thought that started at 7  
hackervoice: it does  
flying_kiwi: Then why are you 3 hours early?  
hackervoice: couldnt sleep  
flying_kiwi: Fair enough.  
hackervoice: why r u on ur phone @ cadets  
flying_kiwi: Because reasons.

Player hacked into his phone and found that he was still at home. They both always left open the potential to hack each others’ phones, it was a habit they’d had for years.

hackervoice: u arent even @ cadets  
flying_kiwi: No duh, I’m home sick.  
hackervoice: oh rip lol  
flying_kiwi: Thanks. Hey, this… extra project, is that why your grades have been dropping?  
hackervoice: what?  
flying_kiwi: I don’t want to pry, but like… you have like a B average in maths. And you’re 3 hours early to lacrosse. And I never see you on any forums anymore. Are you  
okay?  
hackervoice: myob  
flying_kiwi: Okay, geez dude. I was worried, chill.  
hackervoice: im fine.  
flying_kiwi: [sent a photo]  
hackervoice: cuuuute!  
flying_kiwi: IKR? The best cat.  
hackervoice: envious. my mums allergic so we cant get one  
flying_kiwi: Literally the biggest rip of all.  
hackervoice: it really is  
flying_kiwi: Oh BTW I’m gonna be offline for a couple days.  
hackervoice: how come?  
flying_kiwi: Schoolwork mostly.  
hackervoice: oh oof  
flying_kiwi: Yep.  
hackervoice: wait did u say i have a b in maths  
flying_kiwi: Yeah? Did you not know?  
hackervoice: nope. mums gonna kill me  
flying_kiwi: Good luck with that man. I gtg see you in a few days.  
hackervoice: k bye

Player clicked off of the chat and sighed. This was going to be a long three hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hola friends,  
> So I was originally just going for the whole "player has a life outside of team red", but I think I might be going too far, so I'm not going to give him any more hobbies since he needs time to actually, you know, work with team red.  
> Also, flying_kiwi was originally just meant to be a pun, since I was watching The Crackle Goes Kiwi Caper when I wrote him, but he kinda turned into a self-insert.  
> Also, I'm pretty sure they've never canonically called themselves "team red" on the show if they have then oops.


End file.
